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About Me Member Emotional Poet andrew23/Male/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Statistics 19 Deviations
4 Comments
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Depression

Sat May 30, 2009, 1:06 AM
Sometimes i think this is my premier emotion. It seems that i enjoy crying though i wish i didn't have to. I wonder why life is so hard. Why does life have to be like this? Striving to become independent then striving to not be lonely then striving to be successful, its always something. Sometimes i wonder if my hope is misplaced or if I truly have found a lit path in the darkness. I used to look down on people that were homeless or suicidal or overly depressed and I'm slowly starting to understand the why behind it. It feels sometimes that life isn't worth the trouble. Maybe happiness is a survival instinct and depression is reality. It's so hard to wake up and change or wake up and wonder if the day before will count for anything. I just want to curl up in a corner and cry my eyes out till there is nothing left but ultimately it is just a temporary release. I think my only redeeming quality is my love but what good is that if i have nothing else to offer? God oh why can't you just take some of this free will away so I don't have to think so hard anymore? Sometimes I wonder if you cursed us with free will instead of blessing us with it. I don't know if I'll ever have the same happiness i had for a few years long ago, but was i really ever happy? what constitutes happiness? Who knows. Maybe I will feel different in the morning, but right now i just feel worthless as a man. This sucks.

  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: The Fray
  • Reading: Shogun
  • Watching: Eden of the East
  • Playing: Rome Total War
  • Eating: Vannilla Ice Cream
  • Drinking: Water

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: alabama
  • deviantWEAR sizing preference: extra large
  • Interests: cars,writing, anime
  • Favourite movie: twilight
  • Favourite band or musician: dashboard confessionals
  • Favourite genre of music: emo
  • Favourite poet or writer: terry goodkind
  • Favourite photographer: myself
  • Favourite style of art: eclectic
  • Operating System: windows xp
  • MP3 player of choice: zune
  • Shell of choice: ubuntu
  • Wallpaper of choice: anime-zero no tsukaima
  • Favourite game: world of warcraft
  • Favourite gaming platform: PC
  • Favourite cartoon character: tom and jerry
  • Personal Quote: I was born to tell you i love you
  • Tools of the Trade: hand journal

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Journal History

Comments


:iconjerseyse410:
if anyone is interested im going to re-release "In the garden of rachel" as i kind of want to add some more depth and clarity in it.
:iconjerseyse410:
i opened up a poem shop on the zomgforums so it might get a little busy around here if you're watching.
:icon3v3rdr34m3r:
Thank you for the watch. :D

--
"This is how the world ends, not with a bang but a whimper."

"I thought it would be nice to lie down and close my eyes. It never occurred to me that I am already asleep."
:iconclockwork-horrorshow:
Thanks for the watch!

--
Fight for victory, die for glory
:iconhime-soph:
thx for adding me =p
so what's up?

--
:damphyr:
:iconjerseyse410:
not much, i might be coming back to zomg, not sure yet but either way ill throw some stuff your way for the magazine. that and im trying to get back to writing. thinking about exploring some stuff outside of poetry, a little bit longer in detail. anyways, thats about it.
:iconcatifeamatasesatin:
welcome to dA :hug: hope you're gonna have fun

--
I see hell in your :eye:-:eye:

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